Last Thursday I read this article from The Huffington Post, and “boy” did it hit home. You see… I take a lot of pictures like this:
Stunning… right?
… and like this, and this
The pic on the right even became a winner on an Instagram challenge…
But where oh WHERE am I? The woman… the mommy… who was at the park that day, and the beach, and the museum? The one who stares into the sky, shovels sand and slides down slides… his partner in crime?
I’m hiding behind the camera, with my top knot or my hat, with no makeup on, feeling kinda sloppy in my tank top and sweats compared to my fashionista alter ego… unworthy of a pic with my gorgeous child, unless I look something like this:
How will I explain this to my son when he is older? What does this teach him? That his mom was insecure unless made up, hair did and face “filtered” out? How disappointing… and against everything I try to teach him each day about self-confidence, love and acceptance.
So here’s my vow. I will continue to take pictures like this:
But I will also take ones like these:
… because in the words of Allison Tate, who wrote the article, “Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves — women, mamas, people living lives.” How poignant… and how perfect.
I’ve decided to start a hashtag on Instagram called #loveismyfilter and I challenge myself to get in the picture… I challenge you to do the same. Here is an excerpt from Allison’s piece.
(The only kind of “mask” my son cares to see me in ;))
Allison Tate: The Mom Stays In The Picture
Last weekend, my family traveled to attend my oldest niece’s Sweet Sixteen party. My brother and sister-in-law planned this party for many months and intended it to be a big surprise, and it included a photo booth for the guests.
I showed up to the party a bit late and, as usual, slightly askew from trying to dress myself and all my little people for such a special night out. I’m still carrying a fair amount of baby weight and wearing a nursing bra, and I don’t fit into my cute clothes. I felt awkward and tired and rumpled.
I was leaning my aching back against the bar, my now 5-month-old baby sleeping in a carrier on my chest (despite the pounding bass and dulcet tones of LMFAO blasting through the room) when my 5-year-old son ran up to me.
“Come take pictures with me, Mommy,” he yelled over the music, “in the photo booth!”
I hesitated. I avoid photographic evidence of my existence these days. To be honest, I avoid even mirrors. When I see myself in pictures, it makes me wince. I know I am far from alone; I know that many of my friends also avoid the camera.
It seems logical. We’re sporting mama bodies and we’re not as young as we used to be. We don’t always have time to blow dry our hair, apply make-up, perhaps even bathe (ducking). The kids are so much cuter than we are; better to just take their pictures, we think.
But we really need to make an effort to get in the picture. Our sons need to see how young and beautiful and human their mamas were. Our daughters need to see us vulnerable and open and just being ourselves — women, mamas, people living lives. Avoiding the camera because we don’t like to see our own pictures? How can that be okay?
…
Read the rest of this very timely article (has social media made us more insecure?) here and see the overwhelming response it has received from moms just like Alison, like Me… and everyone in between!
In fact, I’d like to share a few pics from my friend Natalie who was also inspired by Alison’s words. WERK it Mama!
Natalie, Luca and Rocco
